Fear of a Black Planet

Today's news that the Indiana Pacers consciously skew their marketing away from "hip-hop culture" to appease and market to their fanbase (via TrueHoop) brings up some very interesting points about race, Middle America, and white men's relationships to superathletic basketball-playing black men. While I don't want to paint all Indianans as young American kids just doing the best racist things they can, I do think there's a strong racial component to this story, and it deserves full attention.

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(I desperately wanted to use this version of the video, but Universal won't let me embed from YouTube.)

Unfortunately, you're not going to find that analysis here. If this story tells us anything, it's that the "they just wanted white guys" half-jokes that followed last winter's Warriors trade are probably more than just unhinged speculation. If that's the case, then we can assume that it can happen again. Now, I'm not fan of racism in any form -- seriously, some of my best friends are black -- but I am always for trades that bring underappreciated players to more hospitable environments. With that in mind, here's a look at some potential racism-motivated trades that could come up over the course of this season.

Indiana Pacers
Justification: Who says lightning never strikes the same place twice?
Trade Proposal: Jermaine O'Neal and Jamaal Tinsley to the Lakers for Chris Mihm and Coby Karl.
Analysis: O'Neal and Tinsley are relics from the Palace Brawl era, a time when rap music blared through the Conseco Fieldhouse locker room and the Pacers actually won playoff games. ... Mihm is injury-prone, but at least he doesn't miss games due to suspension. ... Coby Karl isn't just white -- put him in a suit and he actually looks like your garden-variety Pacers season-ticket holder. If that doesn't scream "face of the franchise," I don't know what does. Get him in those Jim O'Brien ads, stat.


Boston Celtics
Justification: Sure, Boston's made great strides in terms of racial relations, but that could all come crashing down the minute the Three-Leaf Clover (I am proclaiming this to be the nickname) starts redefining the term "Black Irish."
Trade Proposal #1: Kevin Garnett to the Warriors for Austin Croshere.
Analysis: Everyone loves Garnett now, but what'll happen the first time he shows off his trademark intensity and yells at Brian Scalabrine? ... Croshere went to Providence and only shoots jumpers, so he should be just what the doctor of eugenics ordered.
Trade Proposal #2: Ray Allen to the SuperSonics for Wally Szczerbiak.
Analysis: Yeah, this trade already happened, but Ainge will likely call backsies on Sam Presti the minute the Celtics fanbase remembers that Ray was the lead character -- who slept with white women, no less -- in a Spike Lee movie.
Trade Proposal #3: Paul Pierce to the Clippers for Paul Davis and Dan Dickau.
Analysis: The Truth is a Boston mainstay, but there's always the chance that he'll get stabbed again. Definitely can't have that element wandering around Newbury Street on weekends. ... Dan Dickau has a cheerleader for a wife, and you can't get more impressive than that. ... Paul Davis is tall and white, in case you were unfamiliar with him.


New Orleans Hornets
Justification: New Orleans has a host of racial issues (brilliantly shown in FOX's new supersmash formulaic cop drama K-Ville!!!), although it's unclear to this outsider if those issues arise from the city's internal issues or national problems related to Hurricane Katrina. Don't worry, though, because this trade will work it all out.
Trade Proposal: Chris Paul to the Wizards for Darius Songaila.
Analysis: Here's how I see this one playing out: The Hornets start the year in a funk; ticket sales are low, the team loses, general discontent and questions about whether or not the team can survive in New Orleans abound, and Chris Paul remarks that "David Stern doesn't care about black people." Big Ernie Grunfeld calls up Jeff Bower, demands Chris Paul in exchange for five truckloads of cash and a solid Euro who won't complain. Bower says sure, sends CP3 on a plane to DC an hour later. Songaila arrives a week late.


Memphis Grizzlies
Justification: Memphis has a history of great blues and solid rap, but it's still in Tennessee, so it's only a matter of time before a bunch of guys named Jim Bob Cooter storm the Grizz front office.
Trade Proposal: Rudy Gay and Hakim Warrick to the Heat for Chris Quinn and Michael Doleac.
Analysis: Nothing's more stereotypically "hip hop" on the basketball court than a 6-8 uberathletic swingman, so why not trade both? ... Quinn and Doleac went to the two whitest colleges around (Notre Dame and Utah, respectively) other than Bob Jones University and BYU, so you know there's nothing to hate there.


Sacramento Kings
Justification: Sacto isn't the most backwards place on the planet, but it also has lots of cows, and lord knows there's a positive correlation between "amount of cows" and "amount of racists."
Trade Proposal: Ron Artest to the Knicks for David Lee.
Analysis: We all know Isiah doesn't care about this white person, and he's always up for bringing on another questionable personality who can play forward or point guard (maybe Ron-Ron can even play point forward!). ... The Kings get Max Weber's personal wet dream, a guy who'll work hard and deserves more playing time than what he gets in New York. (Note: This one is not a joke.)

We Demand To Be Taken Seriously

The news of Reggie Miller’s possible return to the NBA confused and upset me quite a bit this morning. Should this move happen, I wouldn’t begrudge Reggie’s wanting to play another year, or even his hypocrisy. But why, with the little cap room they have left, would the Celtics want a player who needs plays run for him and doesn’t fill one of the team's many needs? Even outside of these issues, picking up Miller runs the risk of turning this year’s Celtics into a sideshow attraction when Pierce, Garnett, and Allen all appear to be on a collective mission.

While I’m not entirely certain why Reggie would want to return to a team that’s still a few players away from being a real championship contender, I have no idea why Ainge would be the one to approach him. Remember when Scottie Pippen wanted to work out for the Lakers last winter. There’s a reason Mitch Kupchak didn’t jump at the chance to sign him. (Danny, you know things are bad when I’m comparing you unfavorably to Kupchak.) As Tom Ziller said earlier today, Miller’s not a difference maker in any situation. The Celtics have too little room under the cap to use it on another scorer, particularly one who hasn’t played in a while and has always needed to get the ball coming off of screens in structured plays. On a related note, SimonOnSports pointed out that the Celtics already signed Eddie House, another player who needs to shoot, after the Garnett trade. What does Reggie bring that isn’t already there?

There isn’t a bevy of terrific role players on the market right now, but Boston should at least take a chance on a guy at a position of need. Plus, if Ainge wanted to spend the veteran minimum on Miller, then he should have just shelled out the extra money to bring on Brevin Knight, who recently jumped to the Clippers for $2 million/year, to play point and mentor Rajon Rondo. I’m not a fan of Ainge’s Scot Pollard signing (you know, because Scot Pollard’s ridiculous and couldn’t get off the bench in Cleveland), but at least he fills a need and doesn’t have to shoot to be successful.


Last week, when the Celtics traded for Garnett, I praised Ainge for finally providing an identity for the organization. It’s impossible not to have a semblance of a game plan now that the roster boasts three players of all-star caliber, but Ainge is doing his best to throw in role players that don’t fit the ostensible blueprint. Now, it is the end of the summer, and Ainge certainly doesn’t have a full list of pieces from which he can pick and choose his players. However, that doesn’t excuse him from making sensible moves. Reggie Miller is not a sensible move.

Luckily, it doesn’t appear that there’s a great chance of Miller heading to Boston. He still hasn’t made up his mind, and in the end I think he’ll end up back on TNT talking like a bad Bill Cosby impersonation and using words like “adversadility.” Ainge, though, should not get a free pass should this deal not work out. Pierce, Garnett, and Allen do not deserve Scot Pollard and Reggie Miller. I’ve already echoed Billups’s comments on this trade, but I’ll quote him this time: “It's about about three guys getting one more chance.” Don’t screw it up for them, Danny. Don’t make this team a joke.

New Skin for the Old Ceremony

This post marks the start of a new feature on Plissken, one I’ve titled “Bloggin’ to the Oldies” in a delicious pun. Essentially, I (and possibly Carter, too) will watch one of the many NBA’s Greatest Games we have on our DVR and write about our impressions. Because this kind of exercise has the potential to devolve into a bunch of comments reiterating that Michael Jordan was really good at scoring, I’ll do my best to relate the style of play and players’ games to the NBA of today. This feature is still a work in progress, though, so please feel free to comment with some constructive criticism.

Today, I’ll tackle Game 7 of the 1969 NBA Finals between the Lakers and Celtics. This game doubled as the last game for both Sam Jones and Bill Russell, although the announcers’ reactions at the end of the game suggest that only Jones had announced that he was playing for the last time.

Unfortunately, NBATV massacred this game by only showing the fourth quarter. For a channel that usually does a great job with replays, it seems odd that they’d choose to show just one quarter of a game featuring Bill Russell, Wilt Chamberlain, Elgin Baylor, Jerry West, John Havlicek, and Sam Jones. As far as I can tell, this game’s also the only one from that era in the regular rotation. This choice wouldn’t be so bad if Wilt hadn’t hurt his knee midway through the quarter; essentially, viewers are robbed of watching one of the greatest players in league history. Did the tape get destroyed in a mysterious vault fire? Were the Pete Maravich dribbling drills on after the game really necessary? (Okay, those are actually pretty cool.)



What’s here is actually quite interesting, though. The most obvious thing about the game is that there’s no three-point line. Oddly enough, offenses still operated mostly the same way—or at least the way they do when teams have excellent post scorers. The Lakers regularly worked it inside to Wilt with the intention of sending it back outside for open jumpers. The clearest difference, though, is that those shooters set up much closer to the basket. Thus, you get situations like this one: Wilt passes out from the block to Jerry West at the free throw line. Would that ever happen now? It wasn’t even an odd angle, and there were four defenders in our right around the paint on the play. With no three-point line, everything happens in a much tighter space.

I’m no fan of what three-pointers have done to current players’ midrange games (or lack thereof), but watching this game made it clear to me that the NBA currently needs the three-point line if it wants offenses to score. Today’s extremely athletic players simply could not play in a confined space; defenders would roam all over the place and block many more shots. Teams likely would have adjusted and moved outside, but it’s still way too tempting to stay close to the basket when there’s no incentive to shoot from outside. If the purists got their wish, I think they’d see a very ugly brand of basketball for quite a while.


Referees still appeared to control the game way too much in 1969: Russell, Wilt, Jones, and Havlicek each had five fouls with about 7:30 left in regulation, and Sam Jones fouled out thirty seconds later. As such, no Wilt/Russell banging inside, and the legitimately thrilling (and series MVP) Jones didn’t get to finish out his career on the floor.

Jones, by the way, was the biggest revelation for me. I’d always heard about him as an important member of the Celtics championship teams, but history seems to have put him a notch or below Havlicek, Cousy, and Russell in the Boston pantheon, subsequently leaving him out of the history books for the casual fan. This might be an odd thing to say about one of the 50 Greatest, but I wish he got talked about more often and hope I get the chance to see more of his games.


The Wilt injury made it nearly impossible to see his full game (damn you NBATV!), although the few minutes I saw made it clear that he’d be able to hang with any franchise center of the modern era. Watching guys like Wilt make it clear that while the game has changed a lot in the last forty years, it’s still basically played the same way.

Bill Russell is a more difficult case, although I fully understand that I’m fairly ignorant on this case. Russell’s defense was clearly awesome, particularly on one play in the last minute during which he forced Mel Counts (Wilt’s replacement) to drive behind the basket and force up a hideous scoop shot. Russell’s offense was another story. On two separate occasions, he made a decent move to get clear looks from two feet, and in both he cases he bricked each attempt. This might seem like blasphemy, and please correct me if I’m just being stupid, but at this point in his career Russell seemed to have the same offense/defense split as Ben Wallace. Or maybe he just never worked on offense because he had Jones and Havlicek there to do most of the scoring.

Perhaps the worst part of having NBATV truncate the game was that I didn’t get a great feel for Jerry West, Elgin Baylor, and John Havlicek. All three were clearly very good (and West and Havlicek’s unreal stat lines from the series prove it), but I can’t make any intelligent comments on any of them.

As a Warriors fan, I was very interested to see Don Nelson. Watching him play, one can see why he’s so good at teaching players to shrug off their mistakes. During one offensive possession, Nellie took the ball at the top of the key facing the near sideline so that he was looking right at Jerry West, who already had defensive position. Nelson then ran right into West, executing one of the worst charges I’ve ever seen. Instead of getting down on himself, though, Nellie hit a tough jumper with a hand in his face on the very next possession. Just goes to show that there’s always some continuity in the NBA.

A true prince of the tubes has uploaded the fourth quarter of this game to YouTube. Embedding's been disabled, but check out these links to Part 1 and Part 2.

I'm a Man You Don't Meet Every Day

After months of speculation and insanity, it looks like KG will end up in Boston in exchange for Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Theo Ratliff and his expiring contract, and Sebastian Telfair. (All comments here work off the assumption that this deal will go through soon. Judging by my recent luck, though, I fully expect to wake up tomorrow morning and hear that it all fell through.) At first glance, this deal seems to make the Celtics a strong contender for the East title and the sort of squad that could at the very least put a mighty scare into the West champions. On the other hand, Ainge better be sure this team will contend for a title in the next few years. Without much help aboard for Garnett, Pierce, and Ray Allen, there won’t be much of a window, so I’m not confident this deal will result in another Larry O’Brien for Boston. However, I admire it for their willingness to go all out for one of the best players in the league, even if it meant giving up one of the best young post players in the NBA. At a time when too many teams seem unwilling to do what it takes to get to the next level, at least Ainge appears to want his team to win.

Let me begin with the obvious: the Celtics now have Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen. Basketball is obviously won by having more than three really good players, but that trio’s nothing to sneeze at. With Pierce and Allen on the perimeter, Boston has two legitimate shot takers in crunch time, and Garnett’s versatile enough to be a great option in those cases, too. It’ll be virtually impossible for teams to key on any one of those guys at the risk of letting the other two go off. I suppose it’ll be possible for opponents to focus on two players, but that still leaves one of the triplets open. It’ll be a “pick your poison” situation in every Celtics game this season.

That foolish-sounding double double-team strategy, though, is only worth mentioning because the Celtics now have just a few role players who actually deserve major NBA minutes. Rajon Rondo can play the point, but he can’t shoot jumpers at all, which is all he’d really need to do for this team. Ryan Gomes is one step closer to carrying out Billups’s recent suggestion and changing his position to “I SET FUCKING PICKS. IT’S ABOUT AS FUN AS IT SOUNDS.” Uh...who’s after that? Leon Powe? Big Baby Davis? Brian Scalabrine? Maybe Doc Rivers should suit up. Does anyone seriously think those guys can be major contributors on a title team? (Particulars of the deal are still open to change—perhaps Rondo subs in for Green and Bassy—but my point remains the same no matter who gets added.)


Putting the present aside for a second, Ainge just completely sold out the Celtics’ future. Jefferson’s only 22, so his best days are ahead. Ditto Gerald Green, although who knows how good his best days will be. Boston also won’t be getting many quality draft picks for the next few years because of their likely solid record, so they shouldn’t expect a seamless transition once Allen, Pierce, and Garnett leave.

Where does that leave the Celtics? A championship is unlikely and future pain is all but assured: this would appear to be a bad trade. For a moment, though, I’d like to take off my objective analyst’s skirt and put on my ass-masking NBA fan pantsuit.



As I lamented last week, too many teams (SUNS!!!) are unwilling to do what it takes to win championships. The league employs too many full weak-ass general managers who don’t want to break up their limited successes out of fear that they’ll lose their jobs. The best example of this sort of general manager is John Paxson of the Bulls, who refuses to pull the trigger on trades for legitimate stars (Gasol, Garnett, et al.) because he has some nice young talent running around the United Center. Of course, these Bulls probably won’t ever make it past the conference finals. I'm sure Paxson's drowning out the Garnett news with his favorite Rick Astley song as we speak.



I imagine that Danny Ainge realized that the post-draft Celtics were not much better than a four-seed in the East—not exactly worldbeaters. Picking up Garnett probably vaults them into a top-two-or-three seed, which, while not spectacular, at least puts the Celtics in a realistic position to get to the NBA Finals. Last week, the Celtics were going nowhere with contradictory team identities of aging, productive all-stars and young kids—now they have a clear look with three legitimate stars. I’m not sure how much I actually agree with Ainge’s move in strict basketball terms, but I love that he’s going balls out with this one. It’s even more impressive when you remember he’s Mormon.

Simply put, you can’t get better by standing around, but you can make things better by being proactive. Things can also get terrible, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Phrases don’t become clichés by accident.


Oh yeah, the Timberwolves are involved in this one, too. It should be clear that they’re going to be terrible next season. McHale better spend a lot of time watching Derrick Rose, Michael Beasley, and OJ Mayo next year.