Possessives and Attributives

Last Friday, Tom Ziller of Sactown Royalty, AOL FanHouse, The Sporting Blog, Ballhype, Hot or Not, WebMD, The Hawk and Tom Morning Show on B93.7 (All the Hits!), and Google.com asked us for our informed thoughts on the necessity of the apostrophe in the name of newest King Donte' Greene. Unsurprisingly, our comments were entirely unusable. We have reproduced them here to show you why.

Tom asked...
Shoals said one of you advanced thinkers had previously lobbied for the continued survival of Donte' Greene's apostrophe. Will either of you admit to the cause? I'm annotating Donte''s name on StR and a paragraph on the import of the apostrophe would be absolutely awesome.

Carter retorted...
Your use of "Donte''s" just made my day. Any world where that's proper punctuation is a world I want to live in. Initially I had slight pangs that I was being guilty of all sorts of, "oh those funny black people and their silly names," (speaking of which, how unintentionally tremendous was that ballhype post a while back), but really I'm just a fan of ridiculously unnecessary punctuation in any context, regardless of racial overtones. So ya, viva the apostrophe. Espn and everyone else needs to get their shit together.


Ty quipped...
If he names his son Donte' Jr, does the family contain two Donte's? This could result in some kind of Abbott and Costello routine that goes a little like this:
Douby: Who's there?
Hawes: The Donte's.
Douby: The Donte's what?
Hawes: The Donte's are there.

It will be the most popular scene in Douby and Hawes Meet Frankenstein.

Carter proffered...
That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. You can't hear apostrophes.

Ty retaliated...
The conversation takes place by telegram. It's a period piece.


Carter riposted...
Oh ok. That's ok then.

While I'm not sure how an apostrophe can change the pronunciation of a name if it comes after the word, I'm so happy this mission has been left in your [Tom's] capable hands. I don't even know what blog is out there for the Rockets, but I'm sure whoever they are they would have dropped the ball. [Note: Plissken loves The Dream Shake!]

Ty rejoined...
I still think "Dontae' Jones" is better, but someday a parent will use the æ grapheme and sire someone who'll swallow planets whole.

Also, the summer I worked full-time in the Stanford basketball office my friend and made a list of all potential recruits with apostrophes (and we actually got one that year -- Da'Veed Dildy!). I still think "P'Allen" is the greatest name in history.

Tom interrupted the echo chamber...

P'Allen made me spit tea.

I wish someone would write on uncensored version of that chapter on names from Freakonomics.


Ty ignorantly questioned...
What is the Freakonomics chapter about?

Tom enlightened...
How funny names end up attached to kids who don't start off in the best financial/neighborhood situations.

Ty clutched his grad school diploma...
Do they attribute any cause to it?

Carter mixed up three stories...
Wasn't there evidence of external discrimation [sic] based on the fact that names were funny and therefore more likely to be black? Or am I thinking of a separate craigslist experiment that someone did in the same class as the guy who did the point-shaving paper?

Tom actually answered the question...
There was that evidence, but if I remember right (and I'm not sure I do -- that was ages ago) it was small in impact compared to the fact kids with the names tended to be born into dire straits.


I don't remember what they attribute as a cause for the funny naming conventions. I think illiteracy in some cases, and in others that the names aren't funny, and have some (possibly tenuous) connection to African dialects or whatnot.

Wait, how did this thread get so serious? I apologize, sincerely.

Ty failed to see the distinction...
I took Douby and Hawes incredibly seriously.

Carter made things uncomfortable...
Douby Hawes would be a good name. Up there with Sabian Roman. Consider it for a little ziller: Douby Hawes Ziller.

Plissken al Zumbador

Yes, we haven't really tended this garden much lately. But that really doesn't matter, because we have the greatest thing in the history of the site to share with you. Someone by the name of "marcosfs," aka the greatest-ever member of YouTube, has posted the video that gave this blog its name. And it's in Spanish.



We watched the movie tonight for the first time since christening this blog, and it is clear that we chose well.

Oh, and now that our teams are out of the race, maybe we'll restart this thing again and become the first-ever NBA blog dedicated solely to the offseason.

Your Name Is Limitless: Final Four

Our friend Mike doesn't watch any sort of basketball, but he loves to use stupid systems to pick his NCAA bracket every season. This year, he went with a team's best names. This is simply too good not to post. In the first round, a team's entire roster will be considered. Beyond that, only a team's superstar name (not the same as the name of the team's superstar) will be considered. His analysis follows. (Also, apologies on formatting -- I will try to fix it later.)

Final Four

Final Four:

American: Garrison Carr

USC: Ovinton J’Anthony Mayo

Memphis: Chance McGrady

Xavier: Charles Bronson

Finals:

USC: Ovinton J’Anthony Mayo

Xavier: Charles Bronson

Sometimes, even Bronson’s gotta lose

Your Name Is Limitless: West

Our friend Mike doesn't watch any sort of basketball, but he loves to use stupid systems to pick his NCAA bracket every season. This year, he went with a team's best names. This is simply too good not to post. In the first round, a team's entire roster will be considered. Beyond that, only a team's superstar name (not the same as the name of the team's superstar) will be considered. His analysis follows. (Also, apologies on formatting -- I will try to fix it later.)

West

1^st Round:

UCLA: Chace Stanback, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, Darren Collison

Miss Valley St: Stanford Speech

Chase Stanback wins, as we’re sure it’s a proper name.

BYU: Lamont Morgan Jr., Nick Martineau, Jimmer Fredette

Texas A&M: Andrew Darko, Beau Muhlbach

Drake: Leonard Houston, Kit Avery, Klayton Korver, Tyson Dirks

West Kentucky: Tyrone Brazelton, Desire Gabou, A.J. Slaughter,

A.J. Slaughter.

Connecticut: Jerome Dyson, Donnell Beverly, A.J. Price

San Diego: Trumaine Johnson, Clinton Houston

Purdue: Chad Sutor, Garrett Mocas, Chris Kramer, Tarrance Crump, Keaton Grant

Baylor: Mamadou Diene, LaceDarius Dunn, Tweety Carter

Xavier: Charles Bronson, Adrion Graves, Dante Jackson

Georgia: Troy Brewer, Terrance Woodbury

This was over once I saw Charles Bronson.

West Virginia: Da'Sean Butler, Cam Thoroughman, Cameron Payne, Wellington Smith, Ted Talkington

Arizona: Chase Budinger, Zane Johnson, Jerryd Bayless,

Duke: Lance Thomas, Nolan Smith, Martynas Pocius

Belmont: Shane Dansby, Keaton Belcher,

2^nd Round:

UCLA: Chace Stanback

Texas A&M: Beau Muhlbach

W. Kentucky: A.J. Slaughter

San Diego: Clinton Houston

Purdue: Keaton Grant

Xavier: Charles Bronson

West Virginia: Cam Thoroughman / Wellington Smith

Belmont: Shane Dansby

Sweet 16:

UCLA: Chace Stanback

W. Kentucky: A.J. Slaughter

Tough call here.

Xavier: Charles Bronson

West Virginia: Cam Thoroughman / Wellington Smith

Elite 8:

UCLA: Chace Stanback

Xavier: Charles Bronson

Your Name Is Limitless: South

Our friend Mike doesn't watch any sort of basketball, but he loves to use stupid systems to pick his NCAA bracket every season. This year, he went with a team's best names. This is simply too good not to post. In the first round, a team's entire roster will be considered. Beyond that, only a team's superstar name (not the same as the name of the team's superstar) will be considered. His analysis follows. (Also, apologies on formatting -- I will try to fix it later.)

South

1^st Round:

Memphis: Chance McGrady, Doneal Mack

Texas Arlington: Dwight Gentry II, Jermaine Griffin, Cardell Hunter, Marquez Haynes, Rog'er Guignard

While Texas has a lot going for it (huge points for the unnecessary and most likely ungrammatical apostrophe in Mr. Guignard’s name), I have to give it to Memphis for Chance McGrady.

Mississippi State: Riley Benock, Kodi Augustus

Oregon: Bryce Taylor, Churchill Odia, LeKendric Longmire

Michigan State: Marquise Gray, Durrell Summers

Temple: Dionte Christmas

Christmas as a last name beats what probably should be a title , both of which would get blown out of the water by Christmas as a first name

Pittsburgh: Keith Benjamin, Cassin Diggs

Oral Roberts: Adam Liberty

Two first names always make for a strong name. Also, after much deliberation, it was decided that the quality of the school’s name should not affect this bracket

Marquette: Dominic James, Lawrence Blackledge, Lazar Hayward

Kentucky: Ramel Bradley

Stanford: Landry Fields, Taj Finger

Cornell: Jason Battle, Adam Gore, Jon Jaques

For some reason, Landry Fields wins

Miami Fla: Eddie Rios, Lance Hurdle, Fabio Nass, Landon Glover, Julian Gamble

St. Mary’s: Tron Smith, Wayne Hunter

Tron is pretty good, but Miami is a juggernaut.

Texas: Alexis Wangmene, Damion James, D.J. Augustin, Harrison Smith, Dexter Pittman, Clint Chapman

Austin Peay: Drake Reed, Todd Babington, Wes Channels, Fernandez Lockett, Duran Roberson

Another tough one, but “Fernandez Lockett” is pretty damn awesome.

2^nd Round:

Memphis: Chance McGrady

Miss: Kodi Augustus

Temple: Dionte Christmas

Pitt: Keith Benjamin

Marquette: Lawrence Blackledge

Stanford: Landry Fields

Sounds like cricket.

Miami: Fabio Nass

Austin: Fernandez Lockett

Sweet 16

Memphis: Chance McGrady

Temple: Dionte Christmas

Stanford: Landry Fields

Austin: Fernandez Lockett

Elite 8

Memphis: Chance McGrady

Austin: Fernandez Lockett

Your Name Is Limitless: Midwest

Our friend Mike doesn't watch any sort of basketball, but he loves to use stupid systems to pick his NCAA bracket every season. This year, he went with a team's best names. This is simply too good not to post. In the first round, a team's entire roster will be considered. Beyond that, only a team's superstar name (not the same as the name of the team's superstar) will be considered. His analysis follows. Enjoy. (Also, apologies on formatting -- I will try to fix it later.)

Midwest

1^st Round:

Kansas: Brady Morningstar, Mario Chalmers, Chase Buford

Portland: Deonte Huff

Easy choice.

UNLV: Wink Adams, Troy Cage, Rene Rougeau, Mareceo Rutledge

Kent St.: Haminn Quaintance

Damn Haminn is a sweet name. Troy Cage beats sweet, though.

Clemson: Demontez Stitt, Zavier Anderson, K.C. Rivers

Villanova: Dante Cunningham

Vanderbilt: Keegan Bell, Darshawn McClellan, George Drake, Jermaine Beal

Siena: Darius Haddix, Ryan Rossiter

USC: O.J. Mayo, RouSean Cromwell

Kansas St: Clent Stewart

Ovinton J’Anthony.

Wisconsin: Wquinton Smith, Tanner Bronson, Morris Cain

Cal State Fullerton: Marcio Lassiter

Gonzaga: Austin Daye

Davidson: Stephen Rossiter, Can Civi

Can Civi? I don’t know, but I like it.

Georgetown: DaJuan Summers, Austin Freeman

UMBC: Cavell Johnson

Boring.

2^nd Round:

Kansas: Brady Morningstar

UNLV: Troy Cage

Less ostentatious.

Clemson: K.C. Rivers

Siena: Darius Haddix

USC: O.J. Mayo

Wisconsin: Tanner Bronson

Davidson: Can Civi

Georgetown: DaJuan Summers

Sweet 16:

UNLV: Troy Cage

Siena: Darius Haddix

USC: O.J. Mayo

David: Can Civi

Elite 8:

UNLV: Troy Cage

USC: O.J. Mayo

Your Name Is Limitless: East

Our friend Mike doesn't watch any sort of basketball, but he loves to use stupid systems to pick his NCAA bracket every season. This year, he went with a team's best names. This is simply too good not to post. In the first round, a team's entire roster will be considered. Beyond that, only a team's superstar name (not the same as the name of the team's superstar) will be considered. His analysis follows. (Also, apologies on formatting -- I will try to fix it later.)

East

1^st Round:

UNC: J.B. Tanner, Wayne Ellington, Surry Wood

MSM: Pierre Brown

Pretty weak showing from Mount Saint Mary’s.

Indiana: Lance Stemler, Jamarcus Ellis

Arkansas: Nate Rakestraw

Lance is kind of a wild card. Stemler pulls it out.

ND: Tyrone Nash, Ty Proffitt, Carleton Scott

GM: Cam Long

Tough decision here. A strong showing from Notre Dame, but I feel that Cam Long has what it takes to go the distance. It’s short, it’s strong, and it rolls off the tongue.

Washington State: Fabian Boeke, Caleb Forrest, Stephen Sauls

Winthrop: Mantoris Robinson, George Valentine

Mantoris.

Oklahoma: Longar Longar, Cade Davis, Beau Gerber

St. Joseph’s: Tasheed Carr, Garrett Williamson, Charoy Bentley, Rockwell Moody

It takes a big man to beat Cade Davis, but Rockwell Moody just might be that man.

Louisville: Derrick Caracter, Preston Knowles

Boise State: Kurt Cunningham

Boise got nothing.

Butler: Avery Jukes

S. Alabama: Domonic Tilford, Chip Ivany, Demetric Bennett

Tennessee: Quinn Cannington, Cameron Tatum, Duke Crews

American: Garrison Carr

2^nd Round:

UNC: Wayne Ellington

Indiana: Lance Stemler,

George Mason: Cam Long

Winthrop: Mantoris Robinson

St Joe’s: Charoy Bentley / Rockwell Moody (I can’t decide)

Louisville: Derrick Caracter

S. Alabama: Chip Ivany

American: Garrison Carr

Sweet 16:

Indiana: Lance Stemler,

Winthrop: Mantoris Robinson

St. Jospeph’s: Charoy Bentley / Rockwell Moody (I can’t decide)

American: Garrison Carr

Elite 8:

Winthrop: Mantoris Robinson

American: Garrison Carr

Garrison Carr doesn’t just rely on a strong first name, as Mantoris does. He’s got the whole package.

There's Damage to Report

Check out Kyle Lowry's line from tonight: 31 minutes, 17 points, 2/5 FG, 13/14 FT, 5 rebounds, 5 assists, 6 turnovers, 5 fouls.

Sadly, I was away from my television set the entire day and couldn't watch the game. Can someone provide an eyewitness account? I need to know more. I have a general idea of what it looked like given his style and my love for it, but that's no substitute.

At any rate, I submit that this is the Kyle Lowry statline.

New Number Order: Week 2

We have a blog? Who in the what now?

Yeah, sorry about that. Things remain hectic in Plisskenville; it should be telling that we've made more posts on other sites than on this one recently. We are still alive, though, and the doctors tell us we have a good chance of surviving so long as we maintain the will to live.

That should be easier because of one of our newest Blogburgh extracurriculars: involvement in the utterly fantastic NCAA Basketball Blogpoll. Much thanks to everyone involved with that one for allowing us to be involved.

In our minds, one of the responsibilities of getting to vote is having to explain your picks and, as such, we will be writing weekly responses to our poll. Starting now, that is, because we couldn't last week (oops). If you want to check out the final poll for this week, please go here. Previous ranking (our ranking, not the official one) is in parentheses. Let the games begin:

1 (1). Memphis. Like I said way back in July, the Tigers are my favorite team (not my rooting interest, though) in the country. Watching them last Friday against UConn was quite frankly a revelation. Outside of the first ten minutes, they didn't even seem to play that well, but they were able to win convincingly anyway. To make a comparison to the NBA, they remind me a lot of the Warriors in that they're capable of being extremely physical without banging -- everyone is so athletic that high-impact contact occurs just because they play hard. Individually, Derrick Rose is as advertised and Chris Douglas-Roberts might be the most underrated player in the country. I'm not sure this team is the best team in the country -- they do play very sloppily at times -- but I like them too much to put them lower.

2 (2). Kansas. I must confess that I haven't seen them play yet and thus have no idea if they're actually better than UCLA, but they're too stacked to go anywhere else right now. The talent on that roster is just obscene; it's a damn shame that I have no faith in Bill Self to get them to where they should go by the end of the year.

3 (5). UCLA. I don't know why we ever had them 5th. Even without Darren Collison, the ball pressure is just filthy. Howland has to be the best coach in the country. As for Kevin Love, he's clearly a superior college player, but I'm very anxious to see what he can do against an NBA big man. I haven't seen much explosiveness around the rim from Love, and his regular pump fakes will be harder to pull off against superior defenders.



4 (3). Georgetown. There's still no one in the country who can guard Roy Hibbert, and those guards remain underrated. For now, that's enough to keep them this high.

5 (4). UNC. Like Kansas, I'm not convinced they have enough to win the whole thing. Instead of the coach being the problem, though, it remains their lack of a clear go-to guy in crunch time. Wayne Ellington's going to have to step things up if they want to justify the hype.

6 (6). Tennessee. I know they (or maybe just Chris Lofton) haven't been at their best so far this season, but I'm a sucker for any running team that presses. I just love the makeup of this roster.

7 (9). Washington State. Haven't seen them yet this year, so the ranking is mostly an assumption in praise of their performance last year.

8 (8). Indiana. One of the pollsters doesn't even have them ranked, and one of his reasons for said snub was that he doesn't like teams that rely heavily on freshmen. Uh, Eric Gordon is no ordinary freshman.



9 (7). Lousville. The loss of David Padgett has to hurt, but Pitino has enough horses inside to keep them solid in his absence.

10 (11). Oregon. This ranking will change after their loss to St. Mary's (w/out Bryce Taylor, though). I still think they're going to have a lot of trouble in crunch time this year with the absence of Brooks. And the defense will definitely be worse, as they showed in Moraga.

11 (12). Kansas State. Here's where the rankings become really, really hard to figure out. This one is basically a vote for Michael Beasley. We're convinced that he's the 11th best team in the country. I'm also a fan of anything related to Bill Walker and his insatiable hunger for victory.



12 (13). Duke. Shock of all shocks: I fully expect to like watching Duke this year. May they never make a basket on a true post-up.

13 (14). Texas A&M. This is probably too high for them. Big fan of DeAndre Jordan, though.

14 (NR). Michigan State. Seems like they've worked out the kinks after that horrific exhibition loss. Lost in the praise for UCLA's victory without Collison is that Drew Neitzel was sick in that game and didn't perform to his capabilities.

15 (15). Pittsburgh. Haven't seen them, but they've never proven themselves to be a bad team. For the last few years, it's been safe to assume that they'll end up in the Top 3 of the Big East. That earns them #15.

16 (17). Gonzaga. Heytvelt's out, yeah. But they still have Jeremy Pargo, and there are few players in the country that are as exciting as him off the dribble.



17 (24). Texas. I really don't like this team at all, but they had to go somewhere. I think Augustin is wildly overrated and will continue to think so until he joins the Sonics and starts passing to Durant like a sane person.

18 (19). Syracuse. This will change after the loss to Ohio State. Love Johnny Flynn, though. (Can you tell that a lot of these picks were based on players we like?)

19 (18). Marquette. Complete lack of an inside presence will hurt them. Plus, if there guards are as good as everyone says, then I would have liked to have seen them beat smallball Duke on Wednesday.

20 (10). Stanford. The #10 ranking was probably on account of homerism. But I refuse to believe that the Siena loss was as bad as everyone says. First, playing against a likely conference champion on the other side of the country at an early start time. Second, no practice that Friday because the airline lost the equipment. Third, Anthony Goods had as bad a game as I've ever seen. Fourth, Lawrence Hill was hurt. Fifth, no Brook Lopez, of course. Definitely not a good performance by any means, and Goods should theoretically play well if he's worthy of his reputation, but there were so many other factors in play that I refuse to believe it was a travesty. I also called it a few months ago, so you can't say no one saw it coming.

21 (25). Virginia. We are both in love with Sean Singletary. Seriously.


22 (NR). Davidson. This ranking is based on their excellent performance against UNC last week, but today's loss to Western Michigan will have us questioning it. Curry's injury doesn't seem to be holding him back at all, so they remain a viable choice for "Best Mid-Major."

23 (16). Southern Illinois. I have no idea why we put them 16th. Reputation, I suppose.

24 (NR). UConn. They played Memphis extremely well last Friday. AJ Price is a new man and the wings are astoundingly good athletes. Hasheem Thabeet, on the other hand, needs about fifteen more years of seasoning before I'd consider using a lottery pick on him.

25 (22). Arizona. Dropped after the Virginia loss, but we're also not sure they're that good to begin with. Budinger is super-talented but didn't assert himself nearly enough last year, Jordan Hill gets a lot of publicity but hasn't done much to earn it, Bayless isn't a natural point, and Radenovic was a matchup nightmare for lots of teams. I can't say I'm crying about any of this stuff.

Darn That Dream

If you haven't seen it yet, my first post at FreeDarko went up Wednesday morning. I link only because it has some bearing on this post.

Tonight's game between the Jazz and Rockets validated everything I said on FD, and I'm both happy (because I was right) and sad (because it makes Utah less interesting). Let's run through this game really quickly.

The Jazz came out of the gates playing as well as they did on Tuesday night, and, oddly enough, they were also playing the same style. Everything moved quickly on offense; Deron shredded the defense via drive, pass, and shot; AK slid in between defenders; Boozer continued to show that he can lock up the paint at any tempo; and Ronnie Brewer finished and slashed like he knows how. The only player who really doesn't fit into this offensive style is Okur, but I suspect that's at least partly because Sloan doesn't really know what to do with him at this speed. The good news there is that Sloan's a smart guy, so any strong consideration of the issue would yield something productive. My guess is that they could very easily put Memo in a Young Dirk-type roving shooter role, but who knows what would come out of Sloan's seasoned brain.

It's also worth noting that the Jazz can play defense at this speed. Time and Jeff Van Gundy seem to have given running a no-defense stigma, but watching old games makes it clear that a potent offense and steadfast defense aren't mutually exclusive. A coach like Sloan can instill those values into a team without sacrificing points.


The good stuff happened for a little more than half of the first quarter. With around five minutes left in the first quarter, Sloan subbed Matt Harpring (death!) and Jason Hart for AK and Deron. The offense instantly slowed down, the plays developed more slowly, Boozer settled into taking jumpers (this isn't entirely fair -- he had a phenomenal statistical game) and the Rockets crept back and ultimately won the game with moderate ease. Now, some of the credit for that comeback has to go to Houston: they tightened up their defense, and Utah couldn't find an answer for McGrady. But Utah also played right into Houston's hands by stepping off the gas.

Deron Williams obviously has to sit at some point, but Jason Hart is not so terrible that he's incapable of dribbling up the court at high speeds. Harpring (death!) is a different story, but he can still shoot and score. My point is this: yes, the Jazz won't run as well when their best players are out. But this shit works for them, and they'd be foolish not to explore it as a legitimate option. In the FD post, I looked at this issue mostly from a long-term perspective, but the short term still matters here. Utah can stay where they are, utilize half of Kirilenko's skills, and hope for another favorable playoff draw. They can also work around their best players' strengths, dominate for long stretches of games, and become a legitimate force. It might take a little extra work and some critical thinking for their coaching staff, but it's the right move for this roster.



Other news:

- Our Warriors and Lakers previews are now up at We Rite Goode. Wishful thinking is here and realistic expectations are here. The entire preview has been fantastic, so I recommend that you check them all out. Thanks again to WRG for bringing us into the fold.

- The season preview is taking shape. Should be ready by early next week, which I think fits within the suitable preview-posting window.

Synthesizer Guide Book on Fire

Anyone who reads this blog has probably figured out that we ripped off our post format from FreeDarko. That decision was mostly grounded in homage; we think it's one of the best sites on the internet. But the homage carries value beyond the respect we have for the blog. Quite simply, their format denotes a particular way of writing about basketball, and, in most of our posts, we've tried to use that intellectual, freewheeling approach.

So I announce with great pleasure that, beginning Wednesday or Thursday, we will start writing somewhat regularly for FreeDarko. This is a huge honor, obviously, and we could not be more excited. Given the respect we have for the site, we can only hope we don't screw anything up too horribly. Much thanks to everyone at FD, of course.

Some of you might be wondering what this announcement means for Plissken. Let me be frank: this blog is still very much a functioning website, but this new gig will obviously funnel some of our resources away from here. Things shouldn't change too drastically, though, and the good news is that I highly doubt many readers of our site don't check out FD on a regular basis. (If you don't, then shame on you.) Plus, at the risk of giving too much away, Big Plissken Announcement #2 will address this concern.

If you're visiting our site for the first time, welcome. As I said up top, we write somewhat heady posts about anything related to basketball. We also have an unnatural obsession with Marco Belinelli, and for some reason I write more posts about mascots than any sane man should. I hope you like the site and come back often.

Other brief, less exciting news:

- The fine folks at We Rite Goode invited us to be a part of their NBA preview, which solicited input from a great number of excellent writers hailing from all areas of Blogburgh. Our individual previews of the Warriors (me) and Lakers (Carter) are not yet up, but they have posted this fine introductory piece that details everyone's record predictions. They will be updating this entire week -- highly recommended. I'm sure we'll link our bits here when they go up, because we are whores.

- Speaking of NBA previews, we're going to write one within the week. I know that makes us significantly late to the preview-writing game, but I don't think it will be too much of a problem. We're trying to do something different, so groove on the idea of what that might be while you wait.

Doing the Knowledge

First off, apologies for the shitty posting record over the last few weeks. Transitional time, blah blah blah, yada yada yada, excuse excuse excuse. We’ll do our best to be better. At any rate, the two big announcements I talked about should go into effect within the next week.


This news story is fairly old by now, but you may have heard that Brook Lopez, Stanford forward and one half of the Lopez Twins, was declared academically ineligible and then received an indefinite suspension for allegedly missing classes and a practice. Having some inside knowledge of the situation, I know that this particular incident doesn’t need much analysis: Brook simply didn’t try hard enough to do what he needed to do to stay eligible. There’s no lack of institutional control – it’s all about effort.

Frankly, the most interesting part of his ineligibility is that it happened at Stanford. At the risk of sounding like an arrogant alumnus, admissions standards are so high for athletes that all players are supposed to be self-motivated and ready to navigate a school that doesn’t coddle its players as much as other schools tend to. (Wow, that definitely made me sound arrogant.) Brook stopped efforting, and his work suffered for it.

One way of looking at his laziness is to say that Brook Lopez is headed to the NBA at the end of the year and therefore didn’t need to try – if he wanted to get drafted – and that would be exactly right. But it’s also easy to use that piece of information to argue that NCAA players should be paid, and that’s where things get more complicated.


The argument goes something like this: Brook’s situation shows that NCAA players are primarily using college for sports and couldn’t care less about school. At the same time, the schools exploit these players for money, so why not let these young men get paid for their exploits.

Well, for starters, they do get paid, and it’s in the form of a scholarship. Granted, some players don’t use that academics, but I think it’s a mistake to say that the majority use college for nothing more than sports, girls, and drugs. The fact of the matter is that not that many athletes end up playing professionally. Even if they don’t get much out of their education, college still provides them with the connections that could very well guarantee jobs and respect for years.


However, that explanation doesn’t kill the argument that these athletes aren’t using college for the education. Some do, certainly, but no more than a handful of scholarship players could be said to play college athletics for something other than the athletics; on the face of it, they want to play. But if they’re using college for sports, why do we choose to think of athletic programs as schools instead of glorified versions of the IMG Academy? Granted, the schools make a ton of money off of these players, but I’m not sure the players don’t earn back their per capita contribution to that income when they move on.

Whether college athletes use their schools for athletic development or simply for future connections, it would be a gross mistake to say they’re not getting something out of school roughly commensurate to what they give to that school. Paying players may seem like a simple solution to the issue of academically-lazy athletes, but that’s only the case if we insist on pretending that they’re all at school for the education. Many of Brook Lopez’s teammates want to learn, yes, yet there’s also Brook Lopez. And the system already accounts for him in full.

That's How We Do Here

This week saw two unbelievably amazing Warriors-related videos come our way, and it's quite simply my duty to bring them to you.



First, we have this video of Baron, Stephen Jackson, and Al Harrington dancing to Soulja Boy Tellem. Shoals gave as good a take on the dancing as possible over at FD, saying that "The dance has become a tic, a comforting gesture, a stance." In the comments of that post, rebar makes an excellent point on the non-Soulja part of the video, explaining that Baron has become a combination of seriousness and goofiness that has before now been associated primarily with Agent Zero. Honestly, I don't have much to add to this one -- I just think it needs to be seen by everyone and hope I've touched someone's life.



Henry Abbott put this video up on TrueHoop the other day, but I think the link died, so I'm doing my part here. I really can't discuss this one rationally, so I'll do my best in bullet form:

• Andris talks about horseshoes like it's a great American pastime. I think I've played it once or twice.
• Why are they playing horseshoes in the first place? They couldn't just have a roundtable or video game battle?
• Andris appears to be hosting the game. Apparently they don't put the rookies in the classy part of the resort.
• The music and video quality makes me think they filmed this one in 1986.
• Andris: "Marco's on fire." Get used to that one.
• The Andris narration is fantastic. Sign him up for an audiobook.
• Kosta Perovic appears to be the best at this game, which makes me think he has no chance of being a serviceable NBA player.
• Andris: "See, me and Kosta, that's how we do here." I could not have said it better myself.

These videos both make one thing clear: I am very lucky to root for this team.

Light to No Coma

We've been pretty poor about posting lately, and for that I apologize. Sadly, this is not a real post, but I did think it important to let people know that we're alive and thinking about basketball. Blame literary theory, if you want a reason for my relative absence. (Carter will have to come up with his own excuse.)

Anyway, Plissken is far from dead; if anything, these next few days/weeks will be a period of great growth for us. We'll be making the two biggest announcements in the short history of our site soon. Believe me when I say that these bits of news are both very important and that we could not be more excited about the prospects that both entail. Unfortunately, I can't go into detail now, but you'll know soon enough.

Have no fear -- we'll be back with real posts shortly. My first one will probably be about the unfortunate Brook Lopez situation, if you want something to look forward to.

Bloggin' to the Oldies: Rebirth of Slick

Now that real basketball has up started again (sort of), you might think that resorting to a Bloggin' to the Oldies is unnecessary, but talk of Kobe modifying his role has me reminiscing back to a pivotal moment in Kobe lore: Game 4 of the 2000 NBA Finals against the Indiana Pacers (box score).

Kobe had missed Game 3 and most of Game 2 with a sprained ankle, which was clearly still bothering him on June 14th. For most of regulation, he over-relied on his jump shot, fouled instead of moving his feet on D, and committed some pretty dumb turnovers. He still managed to find ways to help his team, because even at age 21 and feeling gimpy, he was still Kobe Bryant. But as far as the Kobe narrative is concerned, the first 51 minutes are only really relevant for the contrast they provide with the final 2.


Up 3 with a couple minutes left to go in the extra period, Shaq (and his 36 points and 21 boards) fouls out. Kobe gives a cocky grin and drills one over Reggie. Then pulls one of the more swagtastic moves ever, with the "I got this. Keep your cool" gesture that has become synonymous with rising to the occasion. Then proceeds to calmly drill another long 2 over Mark Jackson (shown above) before getting the game-winning tip with 6 seconds to go, putting the Pacers down 3-1.


Revisiting that sequence (which, thanks to the YouTube gods, you can do here), what strikes me most is how stoked Kobe appears that Shaq has fouled out. Phil, Shaq himself, and, most especially, John Salley? All pretty stunned and troubled by the development. Kobe? From the moment the ball's in his hand, clearly relishing the opportunity. I feel like the way this passage of NBA history has generally been interpreted is along similar lines as the "Magic, Starting Center" game: a young player put in a difficult situation, rising to the challenge, and coming up big when it counted most. Comparing the two though, while they were both plenty cocky, Magic at least was a willing participant in the savior-by-circumstance plotline; for Kareem's sake at least, he portrayed himself as thrust into a tough situation and forced to make the best of it. Perhaps I'm projecting too much here, but Kobe's big moment doesn't appear tinged with any of the, "This is a rough spot, but we're going to suck it up and overcome it" attitude that I think fans at the time and since have assumed had to have been underlying the situation.


To be clear, I by no means intend this as a knock on Kobe, nor am I trying to make any bold claims about the Shaq-Kobe dynamic that eventually led to the downfall. I'm strictly interested in this from the perspective of what it says about Kobe and his approach to the game. Even tracing back to his initial championship, it was clear that he was a cold-blooded killer who was dying to take over the game when it counts, without interference. Even losing in Tuesday's preseason game proved to be too much for him to stay confined to the facilitator role when he started jacking up shots in a desperate attempt to one-up Kelenna Azubuike in the 3rd quarter. Bottom line: Kobe might be able to sublimate his instincts for long stretches, but when it comes down to it he will always want to do the jugular-stomping himself, regardless of the circumstance.

While Kobe's maturation may have been the main motivation for revisiting this game, I was also interested if I could glean any insight about Austin Croshere and Derek Fisher's signings to our respective teams. Let me be the first to say: that Austin Croshere can play. How no one gave him a massive deal based exclusively on this playoff series is beyond me. I've already expressed how happy I am about the Fisher signing, but I guess it's worth noting that at age 25 he was a liability guarding Jackson and had to be replaced by the 36-year-old Brian Shaw. Now 33, he'll still be an upgrade from Smush for charges drawn alone, but Lakers fans (myself included) need to exercise caution in nostalgically embellishing his defensive prowess.


Also, I've come to the conclusion that this Pacers team is one of the more underhated teams of all time. I feel like they deserve so much more hatred than they seem to have attracted. Maybe they've been spared eternal scorn because a lot of their heroics came at the expense of the Knicks, but Reggie single-handedly should have made this team one of the most rooted-against teams of the era. What I don't understand, I've heard refs reference "pulling a Reggie," so they were clearly aware of his bullshit, yet he still was rewarded for creating contact in a way that I've never seen prior or since. Mark Jackson, while extremely solid in pretty much every way, would waste half the shot clock every other possession backing people down. Not exciting to watch. Then there's my, perhaps irrational, despise for Rik Smits, who I choose to blame for the devolution of the big man. For some reason I feel like I'd be more forgiving of his brand of oafishness had he been Eastern European rather than Western, but would need someone like Padraig to explain why I might make that distinction. (side note to Pacers fans: having rooted for this team does not prove that you aren't racist)



In other news, I've decided to informally dub the summer of '07 as the Summer of Sam Perkins. First he popped up in a nostalgic Forum Blue & Gold post, then at the always hilarious Blowtorch, before hitting the big time at True Hoop. To top it all off, I think he's showed up in more of NBAtv's "Greatest Games" this summer than any player save Jordan or Pippen. We've watched him with the Lakers, Sonics, and now Pacers, across a 10-year span, pretty much nailing clutch shots regardless of hair style, uniform, or body fat.

At some point later this week look out for my thoughts on what Glen Rice's role on this Laker team might inform us about this year's Celtics.

Fear of a Black Planet

Today's news that the Indiana Pacers consciously skew their marketing away from "hip-hop culture" to appease and market to their fanbase (via TrueHoop) brings up some very interesting points about race, Middle America, and white men's relationships to superathletic basketball-playing black men. While I don't want to paint all Indianans as young American kids just doing the best racist things they can, I do think there's a strong racial component to this story, and it deserves full attention.

Powered by AOL Video

(I desperately wanted to use this version of the video, but Universal won't let me embed from YouTube.)

Unfortunately, you're not going to find that analysis here. If this story tells us anything, it's that the "they just wanted white guys" half-jokes that followed last winter's Warriors trade are probably more than just unhinged speculation. If that's the case, then we can assume that it can happen again. Now, I'm not fan of racism in any form -- seriously, some of my best friends are black -- but I am always for trades that bring underappreciated players to more hospitable environments. With that in mind, here's a look at some potential racism-motivated trades that could come up over the course of this season.

Indiana Pacers
Justification: Who says lightning never strikes the same place twice?
Trade Proposal: Jermaine O'Neal and Jamaal Tinsley to the Lakers for Chris Mihm and Coby Karl.
Analysis: O'Neal and Tinsley are relics from the Palace Brawl era, a time when rap music blared through the Conseco Fieldhouse locker room and the Pacers actually won playoff games. ... Mihm is injury-prone, but at least he doesn't miss games due to suspension. ... Coby Karl isn't just white -- put him in a suit and he actually looks like your garden-variety Pacers season-ticket holder. If that doesn't scream "face of the franchise," I don't know what does. Get him in those Jim O'Brien ads, stat.


Boston Celtics
Justification: Sure, Boston's made great strides in terms of racial relations, but that could all come crashing down the minute the Three-Leaf Clover (I am proclaiming this to be the nickname) starts redefining the term "Black Irish."
Trade Proposal #1: Kevin Garnett to the Warriors for Austin Croshere.
Analysis: Everyone loves Garnett now, but what'll happen the first time he shows off his trademark intensity and yells at Brian Scalabrine? ... Croshere went to Providence and only shoots jumpers, so he should be just what the doctor of eugenics ordered.
Trade Proposal #2: Ray Allen to the SuperSonics for Wally Szczerbiak.
Analysis: Yeah, this trade already happened, but Ainge will likely call backsies on Sam Presti the minute the Celtics fanbase remembers that Ray was the lead character -- who slept with white women, no less -- in a Spike Lee movie.
Trade Proposal #3: Paul Pierce to the Clippers for Paul Davis and Dan Dickau.
Analysis: The Truth is a Boston mainstay, but there's always the chance that he'll get stabbed again. Definitely can't have that element wandering around Newbury Street on weekends. ... Dan Dickau has a cheerleader for a wife, and you can't get more impressive than that. ... Paul Davis is tall and white, in case you were unfamiliar with him.


New Orleans Hornets
Justification: New Orleans has a host of racial issues (brilliantly shown in FOX's new supersmash formulaic cop drama K-Ville!!!), although it's unclear to this outsider if those issues arise from the city's internal issues or national problems related to Hurricane Katrina. Don't worry, though, because this trade will work it all out.
Trade Proposal: Chris Paul to the Wizards for Darius Songaila.
Analysis: Here's how I see this one playing out: The Hornets start the year in a funk; ticket sales are low, the team loses, general discontent and questions about whether or not the team can survive in New Orleans abound, and Chris Paul remarks that "David Stern doesn't care about black people." Big Ernie Grunfeld calls up Jeff Bower, demands Chris Paul in exchange for five truckloads of cash and a solid Euro who won't complain. Bower says sure, sends CP3 on a plane to DC an hour later. Songaila arrives a week late.


Memphis Grizzlies
Justification: Memphis has a history of great blues and solid rap, but it's still in Tennessee, so it's only a matter of time before a bunch of guys named Jim Bob Cooter storm the Grizz front office.
Trade Proposal: Rudy Gay and Hakim Warrick to the Heat for Chris Quinn and Michael Doleac.
Analysis: Nothing's more stereotypically "hip hop" on the basketball court than a 6-8 uberathletic swingman, so why not trade both? ... Quinn and Doleac went to the two whitest colleges around (Notre Dame and Utah, respectively) other than Bob Jones University and BYU, so you know there's nothing to hate there.


Sacramento Kings
Justification: Sacto isn't the most backwards place on the planet, but it also has lots of cows, and lord knows there's a positive correlation between "amount of cows" and "amount of racists."
Trade Proposal: Ron Artest to the Knicks for David Lee.
Analysis: We all know Isiah doesn't care about this white person, and he's always up for bringing on another questionable personality who can play forward or point guard (maybe Ron-Ron can even play point forward!). ... The Kings get Max Weber's personal wet dream, a guy who'll work hard and deserves more playing time than what he gets in New York. (Note: This one is not a joke.)