The Wait Is Ogre

Plissken proudly presents its commentary on the 2007 NBA Draft. Apologies for the delay, but we wanted to get the best product possible out there. A word on the format: Carter and I discussed each team at length, I wrote the thoughts up, he script-doctored it, and then I went through one last editing round before bringing it to you. It's a team effort. We'll be covering each conference in a separate post. First, the East. You can find the West here.

Atlanta Hawks: God bless the Hawks for taking Al Horford. They still fucked this up by not taking Amare, but their commitment to the Forward Apocalypse needs to be respected. I don’t think Conley is the savior here, although you couldn’t really have argued with it.

As for Acie Law, I just hope the Hawks are close enough at the end of games that he can make some plays. It would be a waste of the best clutch college guy I’ve seen in the last few years. The IV also saves this lottery from being one of the dorkier classes in recent memory. This man doesn't smile and I like it.

The new Hawks logo is questionable. It looks like the Arizona Cardinals dealie, which is not a comparison you want to make.

Boston Celtics: Ray Allen and Paul Pierce are not bad guys to build around for a year or two. If Ainge wanted to show people he was committed to making the playoffs, then this deal did it. If we’re talking about pure value of players involved, I think they made a great deal, but I still think the best thing to do would have been to trade Pierce and figure out a way to get back to contender status in three or four years. Although I guess that’s what the plan was this year, just with Oden or Durant involved. To be honest, I’m only really excited in the deal as it applies to Seattle; I could give a shit about the Celtics. Put them in Memphis and no one cares.

Big Baby Davis in the second round, which, as FD explained the other day, is awesome. I don’t have anything to add to what I’ve already said about Gabe Pruitt.

I hope Ray’s daughter can adjust to being a Connecticut Sun fan.

Milwaukee Bucks: EEE decides Milwaukee is the new Vancouver! If WW3 starts over this pick, it will be funny until the nukes go off. Also, I think Fran Fraschilla described him by using “50 Cent” as an adjective, which makes it even worse. Shit reminds me of “Rap: The Musical.” I LOVE the idea of Yi hanging out with Bogut, although it looks unlikely to happen. Larry Harris hasn’t seen him play yet…and this is a good strategy why?

During the interview, Stu slowed down and raised his voice when he asked Yi the first question. Gold. He also asked him his favorite thing about America, like it was a TOEFL test essay. Can't stop picturing EEE going to the Shrek premiere totally shrekified.

Ramon Sessions in the second round. Quick guy, good value that late.

Charlotte Bobcats: I’ll cover Wright when I get to the Warriors, but a few notes on J-Rich. He’ll give them a productive scorer and an amazing guy, but the Warriors already proved what happens when you make him the best player on a team. It’s not pretty. He’ll average over 20, but will it matter? Maybe that gets them into the playoffs this year, but the Magic were stomped as the 8th seed. I’d rather build up more college guys, see which pan out, and wait for a lucky free agent steal. Sinking so much money into a fringe star was problematic once—it can happen again. This also might mean they don’t resign Multiplicity, which would be a shame. Jordan was rightly questioned by the ESPN crew.

Jared Dudley with the second first rounder is more like it. College star who won’t fail too miserably. These moves work, and it’s resulted in a pretty entertaining team.

Chicago Bulls: They have a ton of high-energy bigs, and they took Joakim Noah. When you're only real problem is scoring, why pick the one lottery guy guaranteed to never average 10 a game? Anytime Ben and Joakim are on the floor together, it will be 3v5 on offense. How does that help them? Why not trade the pick for someone who can score inside, even if they wouldn’t get exact value for it? They’re a playoff team on the precipice of contention; it’s not the time to shore up strengths. Why not take a chance on Hawes? (These points become unimportant if they move any of the big men for Kobe.)

Now let’s tackle the real issue: Noah’s awesomeness last night. That suit made up for all the annoying crap he pulled this season; I just forgot about it instantly. Also, a quick glance made it seem like his sister was pretty hot. "Oh, I feel so marketable, you have no idea."

The Aaron Gray second round pick is hilarious because they finally took a lethargic big. I’m surprised JamesOn Curry got drafted, but I liked him a lot at OK St. and am glad he’ll get a look.

Philadelphia 76ers: I’m a little surprised they didn’t take Al Thornton, but I really like Thaddeus and am glad he’ll get to play with a real point guard. You don’t want to waste athletes like this guy.

Picking up Jason Smith in the trade with Miami is a non-issue as far as I’m concerned—let this be a glimpse of how boring my comment would have been if the Warriors had picked him up. I approve of getting Derrick Byars in the Portland trade because he can shoot, but it’s a shame to have to give up Petteri Kopenen to get him. You don’t trade away liquid excitement like that. Herbert Hill’s comparison on nbadraft.net is John Salley, so I hope he’s hosting Best Damn Sports Show next to Jason Giambi in ten years.

Detroit Pistons: It was nice to finally see some Stuckey highlights, and sweet jesus does he play like a poor man’s Dwyane Wade. Makes you wonder why people made any other comparisons in the first place. Anyway, I think he’d be good for them if I had any confidence in the Pistons being a real contender next year.

Afflalo seems to fit in well there, and I’m happy he got guaranteed money. Sammy Mejia is about as second round as you can get.

Washington Wizards: Based solely off of players I like, the Wizards probably had my favorite draft. Nick Young will be a steady scorer in this league for a long time, and his smoothness provides a nice complement to Gilbert. That’s four legitimate offensive options, if you’re keeping score. No defense, of course, but who cares.

Dominic McGuire is the poor man’s AK, and you could do worse than that. If he develops a jumper I think he becomes a legit role player, but that’s a big “if.”

New Jersey Nets: When you’re drafting at 17, I think Sean Williams’s potential reward outweighs the risk. If he hits you did well, if you draft Jason Smith you’re not getting much either way.

I’m a little worried about Dick Vitale, though; he seems to think that Sean will have trouble living in a big city. What, he can’t get weed anywhere other than Washington Square? This is more proof for my “Dick Vitale Is Actually Mentally Retarded” theory, which will be unveiled at some point in the winter, I’m sure.

Miami Heat: I’m pretty sure David Stern laughed when he announced the Jason Smith trade. So that’s how exciting it was.

New York Knicks: This trade is pretty great for them and anyone who watches them. The Z-Bo/Eddy frontline will be pretty tremendous and hilarious. I hope Isiah throws them on opposite blocks and just sees what happens for a little bit.

Wilson Chandler got fewer boos than you'd expect from the New York fans given he’s not a lottery pick who went to a big time school. I saw him play once in person at the Pete Newell Challenge last year, but I was paying more attention to Sammy Mejia and have no clue what Chandler did. I’ll assume Isiah holds to his recent draft day success and this move works out.

I like that they got Demetris Nichols, who can shoot, at least.

Orlando Magic: Maybe Ben at Third Quarter Collapse has something to say about Milovan Rakovic, but I’m at a loss. Their draft pick is Darko, which they’re probably happy about. Although Nick Young was on the board at 15 and they could use him.

Cleveland Cavaliers: No draft picks. Enjoy Eric Snow, LBJ.

Indiana Pacers: I like the idea of Stanko Barac hanging out with Murphy and Dunleavy. Here’s hoping they trade Jermaine O’Neal for a box of saltines.

Toronto Raptors: I know Bryan Colangelo has his own Euro fascination, but trading for foreign guys drafted by the Spurs is a great strategy in any situation.

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