Plissken al Zumbador

Yes, we haven't really tended this garden much lately. But that really doesn't matter, because we have the greatest thing in the history of the site to share with you. Someone by the name of "marcosfs," aka the greatest-ever member of YouTube, has posted the video that gave this blog its name. And it's in Spanish.



We watched the movie tonight for the first time since christening this blog, and it is clear that we chose well.

Oh, and now that our teams are out of the race, maybe we'll restart this thing again and become the first-ever NBA blog dedicated solely to the offseason.

Your Name Is Limitless: Final Four

Our friend Mike doesn't watch any sort of basketball, but he loves to use stupid systems to pick his NCAA bracket every season. This year, he went with a team's best names. This is simply too good not to post. In the first round, a team's entire roster will be considered. Beyond that, only a team's superstar name (not the same as the name of the team's superstar) will be considered. His analysis follows. (Also, apologies on formatting -- I will try to fix it later.)

Final Four

Final Four:

American: Garrison Carr

USC: Ovinton J’Anthony Mayo

Memphis: Chance McGrady

Xavier: Charles Bronson

Finals:

USC: Ovinton J’Anthony Mayo

Xavier: Charles Bronson

Sometimes, even Bronson’s gotta lose

Your Name Is Limitless: West

Our friend Mike doesn't watch any sort of basketball, but he loves to use stupid systems to pick his NCAA bracket every season. This year, he went with a team's best names. This is simply too good not to post. In the first round, a team's entire roster will be considered. Beyond that, only a team's superstar name (not the same as the name of the team's superstar) will be considered. His analysis follows. (Also, apologies on formatting -- I will try to fix it later.)

West

1^st Round:

UCLA: Chace Stanback, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, Darren Collison

Miss Valley St: Stanford Speech

Chase Stanback wins, as we’re sure it’s a proper name.

BYU: Lamont Morgan Jr., Nick Martineau, Jimmer Fredette

Texas A&M: Andrew Darko, Beau Muhlbach

Drake: Leonard Houston, Kit Avery, Klayton Korver, Tyson Dirks

West Kentucky: Tyrone Brazelton, Desire Gabou, A.J. Slaughter,

A.J. Slaughter.

Connecticut: Jerome Dyson, Donnell Beverly, A.J. Price

San Diego: Trumaine Johnson, Clinton Houston

Purdue: Chad Sutor, Garrett Mocas, Chris Kramer, Tarrance Crump, Keaton Grant

Baylor: Mamadou Diene, LaceDarius Dunn, Tweety Carter

Xavier: Charles Bronson, Adrion Graves, Dante Jackson

Georgia: Troy Brewer, Terrance Woodbury

This was over once I saw Charles Bronson.

West Virginia: Da'Sean Butler, Cam Thoroughman, Cameron Payne, Wellington Smith, Ted Talkington

Arizona: Chase Budinger, Zane Johnson, Jerryd Bayless,

Duke: Lance Thomas, Nolan Smith, Martynas Pocius

Belmont: Shane Dansby, Keaton Belcher,

2^nd Round:

UCLA: Chace Stanback

Texas A&M: Beau Muhlbach

W. Kentucky: A.J. Slaughter

San Diego: Clinton Houston

Purdue: Keaton Grant

Xavier: Charles Bronson

West Virginia: Cam Thoroughman / Wellington Smith

Belmont: Shane Dansby

Sweet 16:

UCLA: Chace Stanback

W. Kentucky: A.J. Slaughter

Tough call here.

Xavier: Charles Bronson

West Virginia: Cam Thoroughman / Wellington Smith

Elite 8:

UCLA: Chace Stanback

Xavier: Charles Bronson

Your Name Is Limitless: South

Our friend Mike doesn't watch any sort of basketball, but he loves to use stupid systems to pick his NCAA bracket every season. This year, he went with a team's best names. This is simply too good not to post. In the first round, a team's entire roster will be considered. Beyond that, only a team's superstar name (not the same as the name of the team's superstar) will be considered. His analysis follows. (Also, apologies on formatting -- I will try to fix it later.)

South

1^st Round:

Memphis: Chance McGrady, Doneal Mack

Texas Arlington: Dwight Gentry II, Jermaine Griffin, Cardell Hunter, Marquez Haynes, Rog'er Guignard

While Texas has a lot going for it (huge points for the unnecessary and most likely ungrammatical apostrophe in Mr. Guignard’s name), I have to give it to Memphis for Chance McGrady.

Mississippi State: Riley Benock, Kodi Augustus

Oregon: Bryce Taylor, Churchill Odia, LeKendric Longmire

Michigan State: Marquise Gray, Durrell Summers

Temple: Dionte Christmas

Christmas as a last name beats what probably should be a title , both of which would get blown out of the water by Christmas as a first name

Pittsburgh: Keith Benjamin, Cassin Diggs

Oral Roberts: Adam Liberty

Two first names always make for a strong name. Also, after much deliberation, it was decided that the quality of the school’s name should not affect this bracket

Marquette: Dominic James, Lawrence Blackledge, Lazar Hayward

Kentucky: Ramel Bradley

Stanford: Landry Fields, Taj Finger

Cornell: Jason Battle, Adam Gore, Jon Jaques

For some reason, Landry Fields wins

Miami Fla: Eddie Rios, Lance Hurdle, Fabio Nass, Landon Glover, Julian Gamble

St. Mary’s: Tron Smith, Wayne Hunter

Tron is pretty good, but Miami is a juggernaut.

Texas: Alexis Wangmene, Damion James, D.J. Augustin, Harrison Smith, Dexter Pittman, Clint Chapman

Austin Peay: Drake Reed, Todd Babington, Wes Channels, Fernandez Lockett, Duran Roberson

Another tough one, but “Fernandez Lockett” is pretty damn awesome.

2^nd Round:

Memphis: Chance McGrady

Miss: Kodi Augustus

Temple: Dionte Christmas

Pitt: Keith Benjamin

Marquette: Lawrence Blackledge

Stanford: Landry Fields

Sounds like cricket.

Miami: Fabio Nass

Austin: Fernandez Lockett

Sweet 16

Memphis: Chance McGrady

Temple: Dionte Christmas

Stanford: Landry Fields

Austin: Fernandez Lockett

Elite 8

Memphis: Chance McGrady

Austin: Fernandez Lockett

Your Name Is Limitless: Midwest

Our friend Mike doesn't watch any sort of basketball, but he loves to use stupid systems to pick his NCAA bracket every season. This year, he went with a team's best names. This is simply too good not to post. In the first round, a team's entire roster will be considered. Beyond that, only a team's superstar name (not the same as the name of the team's superstar) will be considered. His analysis follows. Enjoy. (Also, apologies on formatting -- I will try to fix it later.)

Midwest

1^st Round:

Kansas: Brady Morningstar, Mario Chalmers, Chase Buford

Portland: Deonte Huff

Easy choice.

UNLV: Wink Adams, Troy Cage, Rene Rougeau, Mareceo Rutledge

Kent St.: Haminn Quaintance

Damn Haminn is a sweet name. Troy Cage beats sweet, though.

Clemson: Demontez Stitt, Zavier Anderson, K.C. Rivers

Villanova: Dante Cunningham

Vanderbilt: Keegan Bell, Darshawn McClellan, George Drake, Jermaine Beal

Siena: Darius Haddix, Ryan Rossiter

USC: O.J. Mayo, RouSean Cromwell

Kansas St: Clent Stewart

Ovinton J’Anthony.

Wisconsin: Wquinton Smith, Tanner Bronson, Morris Cain

Cal State Fullerton: Marcio Lassiter

Gonzaga: Austin Daye

Davidson: Stephen Rossiter, Can Civi

Can Civi? I don’t know, but I like it.

Georgetown: DaJuan Summers, Austin Freeman

UMBC: Cavell Johnson

Boring.

2^nd Round:

Kansas: Brady Morningstar

UNLV: Troy Cage

Less ostentatious.

Clemson: K.C. Rivers

Siena: Darius Haddix

USC: O.J. Mayo

Wisconsin: Tanner Bronson

Davidson: Can Civi

Georgetown: DaJuan Summers

Sweet 16:

UNLV: Troy Cage

Siena: Darius Haddix

USC: O.J. Mayo

David: Can Civi

Elite 8:

UNLV: Troy Cage

USC: O.J. Mayo

Your Name Is Limitless: East

Our friend Mike doesn't watch any sort of basketball, but he loves to use stupid systems to pick his NCAA bracket every season. This year, he went with a team's best names. This is simply too good not to post. In the first round, a team's entire roster will be considered. Beyond that, only a team's superstar name (not the same as the name of the team's superstar) will be considered. His analysis follows. (Also, apologies on formatting -- I will try to fix it later.)

East

1^st Round:

UNC: J.B. Tanner, Wayne Ellington, Surry Wood

MSM: Pierre Brown

Pretty weak showing from Mount Saint Mary’s.

Indiana: Lance Stemler, Jamarcus Ellis

Arkansas: Nate Rakestraw

Lance is kind of a wild card. Stemler pulls it out.

ND: Tyrone Nash, Ty Proffitt, Carleton Scott

GM: Cam Long

Tough decision here. A strong showing from Notre Dame, but I feel that Cam Long has what it takes to go the distance. It’s short, it’s strong, and it rolls off the tongue.

Washington State: Fabian Boeke, Caleb Forrest, Stephen Sauls

Winthrop: Mantoris Robinson, George Valentine

Mantoris.

Oklahoma: Longar Longar, Cade Davis, Beau Gerber

St. Joseph’s: Tasheed Carr, Garrett Williamson, Charoy Bentley, Rockwell Moody

It takes a big man to beat Cade Davis, but Rockwell Moody just might be that man.

Louisville: Derrick Caracter, Preston Knowles

Boise State: Kurt Cunningham

Boise got nothing.

Butler: Avery Jukes

S. Alabama: Domonic Tilford, Chip Ivany, Demetric Bennett

Tennessee: Quinn Cannington, Cameron Tatum, Duke Crews

American: Garrison Carr

2^nd Round:

UNC: Wayne Ellington

Indiana: Lance Stemler,

George Mason: Cam Long

Winthrop: Mantoris Robinson

St Joe’s: Charoy Bentley / Rockwell Moody (I can’t decide)

Louisville: Derrick Caracter

S. Alabama: Chip Ivany

American: Garrison Carr

Sweet 16:

Indiana: Lance Stemler,

Winthrop: Mantoris Robinson

St. Jospeph’s: Charoy Bentley / Rockwell Moody (I can’t decide)

American: Garrison Carr

Elite 8:

Winthrop: Mantoris Robinson

American: Garrison Carr

Garrison Carr doesn’t just rely on a strong first name, as Mantoris does. He’s got the whole package.

There's Damage to Report

Check out Kyle Lowry's line from tonight: 31 minutes, 17 points, 2/5 FG, 13/14 FT, 5 rebounds, 5 assists, 6 turnovers, 5 fouls.

Sadly, I was away from my television set the entire day and couldn't watch the game. Can someone provide an eyewitness account? I need to know more. I have a general idea of what it looked like given his style and my love for it, but that's no substitute.

At any rate, I submit that this is the Kyle Lowry statline.